I’ll be one of the first to admit that I love my Wii. And maybe because when I first got it, I spent so much time playing Wii Sports, I would have liked to think I am good at bowling. And maybe…I was wrong. We went bowling a few days ago and it has come to my attention that Wii Bowling is a million times better than real bowling. What crazy world am I living in you may ask. Well, let me break down for you as to why real bowling sucks.
By nature, I am a very competitive person. As in, the kind who is a bad loser but an even worse winner. Real bowling gives me an unfair disadvantage that is alleviated by Wii Bowling…and, therefore, I win on the Wii. I didn’t break 100 in real bowling (I came really close…stupid 10th frame). On the Wii, I’m over 200 almost every time (That perfect game is always elusive). What is this disadvantage that is detrimental to my score? Well, it’s the fact I’m so freaking little! Picking up and being able to throw an 8 pound ball down the lane is an accomplishment enough for me. Being able to throw it and knock down pins is a miracle. I tend to throw my ball with a curve to the left so I have to stand like all the way to the right. Then I’m expected to aim it in a way where I can get a strike? Yeah, right. Knocking down all the pins requires force. Something I do not put behind my bowling ball apparently. Curiosity got to us and we realized I have an average speed a little over 6 mph down the lane. Yeah…about that…it’s not going to get me a strike.
I don’t know how many times I ended up knocking down 9 pins and that one stupid last one would not fall down. Then I had to try to hit the one freaking pin. It almost never happened. On the Wii, none of this is an issue. I can put force behind my throw because I’m not actually throwing the ball. Seriously, I can get like 5 striked in a row on the game. And the whole aiming thing? That’s not even an issue. I know exactly where to start and what angle to put on the line. And because of all that, I can tell you almost exactly where it will hit the pins. There is no such luxury in real life.
Issue number two is a little less personal and a little more sensible. Bowling is kind of expensive! You have to pay for each game plus show rentals and whatever concessions you want. Wii bowling completely solves this problem. Sure, you have to initially buy the Wii but the bowling game comes with it (Of course, there are other bowling games you can buy if you are seriously into it but the free game works just fine). After playing it a few time, it basically pays for itself–especially in comparison to paying to go bowling (There’s that whole having to buy gas thing). The Wii saves money on food as well. Instead of having to pay outrageous prices at the concession stand, you get the pleasure of eating whatever you have in the fridge. And the Wii is just cheaper in general because you can buy other games and you will use it. Bowling is a one time thing in terms of payment.
Okay, this one is where I confuse myself a little bit. Either way, bowling can be a social thing. On the one hand, you can get everyone together and drive to the bowling alley and have fun. Considering the last time I went bowling in a big group it was a family thing and everyone was fighting and grumpy, I’m not sure I’m an expert on this one. I’m sure it’s a blast. However, I’m pretty sure you get the same effect with the Wii. It’s just as easy to hang out at someone’s house and play. You don’t have to worry about being loud and obnoxious (I have a feeling my friends and I would fall into this category). In my case, you don’t have to worry about getting mad, stomping your foot, and messing up someone in a different lane (I’m not sure I messed up anyone’s game but I’m definitely at fault for stomping my foot and throwing a temper tantrum that would make a 2 year old blush). And the best part, if you get bored, you can change what you are doing really easily. Play a different video game. Watch a movie. Whatever. It’s way simpler and still way cheaper. I guess this point doesn’t really go either way since it’s still fun but I’ll take the win if I can.
But my whole issue with any of this is that while bowling is good for some entertainment…IT’S NOT A SPORT (at least in my world). In my head, there are a few things that constitute a sport (And none of this is just because I kind of suck at it and I can’t suck at sports. Even though I can’t. It’s just not who I am). First off, there’s not a lot of physical activity. Believe me, I know it takes effort to make it go down the lane but what else is there? How much are you actually doing? Not all that much if you ask me. Secondly, it’s not so competitive. Okay, if you are me, everything’s super competitive but normal people, I’m going to guess not so much. It’s not like when you are playing football or baseball or basketball (I know there are some people who don’t make these all that competitive either but they pretty much have to be). I know there’s a score and a clear winner but I don’t know. It’s just not the same. Finally, bowling being on ESPN can be an argument in its favor for sure. But it’s kind of like when ESPN shows poker. I don’t really know anyone who plans to watch it. Maybe you’re feeling to lazy to change the channel or aren’t paying attention to what’s actually on the TV but who actually makes time to watch bowling on TV? I’m sure there are some people out there but just because there’s some doesn’t mean that it’s a sport. It’s not like it’s a NFL game or Sunday night baseball or SportsCenter (Okay, I think this one wins it for me because I’m pretty sure bowling is not regularly shown on SportsCenter or PTI or Jim Rome or any of the important sports analysis shows. I may be wrong but I cannot remember the last time I saw it on any of them).
In the end, bowling was fun. But I think it’s better when I’m not disadvantaged by my size and I can actually go kick someone’s butt (After all, sometimes it’s not about how good you are but how bad you really want if. Of course, if you really suck, then it doesn’t matter how bad you want it. And I apparently fall into the second category sadly). Either way, let’s finish with the best bowling video I could find (Plus, I actually liked Grease 2. No one can convince me that Stephanie’s not a million times cooler than Sandy):