There’s A Right Way To Propose and This Is Not It

Published February 15, 2012 by jrm17

I’ve seen some pretty stupid and pretty awesome proposals throughout my time spending hours in front of the TV and YouTube but I think this one out does them all.  I was on BuzzFeed when I came across this article talking about the new Pizza Hut proposal package you can buy.  Yeah, Pizza Hut proposal.  Being someone who will fight for the last piece of pizza, I’m not sure if I find this slightly disturbing or slightly awesome (Okay, it’s Flacco’s favorite so I’m going with worst proposal ever.  Get me some Domino’s and we’ll talk).It only cost $10,010 plus tax.  Who can beat that price?  Ummmm, anyone.  It’s a whole lot easier just to find a romantic simple way to propose to your girlfriend.  I’m a fan of the big screen at Camden Yards but I’m one of the few girls who will pick sports over just about anything else.  The worst part of this package is that everything is red like Pizza Hut.

First, you get a limo service.  I’m going to assume the picture is of the real limo service used, which means that you will be pulling up in style in a red Hummer limo.  Okay, well that’s not anything all that special.  My daddy drives a Hummer and while I love the Beast, it’s not going to be a deciding factor in whether or not I’ll marry you (and chances are if this is how you are asking, the answer is no).  To be honest, I don’t think how you get to the place you are proposing really matters.  My cousin got asked while on a walk in front of this really pretty old church.  I think that’s a really sweet way to do it.  The transportation has no barring on the answer so unless it is a very essential part of the proposal, don’t even bother worrying about this part…unless it’s a red Hummer limo, rethink that one.

Next on the list of things in the package is the ring.  You will be getting down on one knee and handing your girlfriend a ruby engagement ring.  Not exactly traditional, though I like the concept of having a different stone.  I’m one for really traditional stuff but for the right girl, this could be really awesome.  However, the concept behind why it’s red ruins it.  She may love rubies but she’s probably not going to be real happy that the only reason she’s getting it is because it came in the Pizza Hut proposal package.  Plus, you better hope your girlfriend doesn’t dislike red as much as I do (Trust me, after like a million years on red softball teams, you would hate it too).  I’m more like Jordan on Big Brother: I want a square cut diamond and he better put a lot of thought into it too (Seriously, I have watched this a million times and I still think they are the cutest thing ever despite the fact I loved Russell the Love Muscle).

Your proposal kit also includes your own personal fireworks show…full of red fireworks.  I personally like purple and green and gold fireworks and the twinkly ones but a firework show would be pretty awesome.  However, if you are in my family, this isn’t anything special.  We set off some awesome ones the night before my cousin’s wedding.  Heck, we set them off randomly throughout the year because we might possibly be pyromaniacs.  I think most girls would think a firework show would be cool but I’m sticking with she will hate why it’s happening.

To go with the ruby ring, you will also get a bouquet of red roses to show your love.  Every girl appreciates flowers (Unless, she’s one of those over the top save the environment, really annoying because she ruins like everything kind of girls).  And most girls really like roses and red ones do mean passionate, romantic love.  However, you better be careful on the flowers.  Of course, you can run into the whole allergy thing.  Or you may run into a girl like me who doesn’t really like roses.  Sure, they are really nice but I always have to be difficult and different.  My favorite is amaryllis and tiger lilies and stargazer lilies and tulips (especially when they are purple).  Yeah, the only way I really like roses is if they are pink or dyed in a really cool way.  It would be a lot sweeter if you actually put some thought into it and get your girlfriend’s favorite flower, which you should probably know if your at the point where you are proposing to her.

To capture the moment, you will be provided with a professional photographer/videographer.  Of course, she’s going to want pictures to remember the moment (or a video–whatever her preference) but if this is going to be a surprise, I think she might realize there’s some strange dude hanging around.  The best way to keep it a secret and have someone take pictures is probably how my friend did it.  He proposed while on vacation with his family and girlfriend.  His family knew what was going on so while they were all on the beach together (cameras in hand isn’t anything out of the normal here), he asked her and his family was able to get the pictures.

The final thing in the Pizza Hut proposal kit is the $10 dinner box.  It contains a medium one-topping rectangular pizza, five breadsticks with marina sauce, and ten cinnamon sticks with icing.  Okay, this is the one part of the whole stupid package I really like because I love pizza and breadsticks and almost anything with dough and cinnnamon.  It sucks I am being limited to one topping but I’m cool with that as long as that topping is red peppers.  Of course, not everyone loves pizza as much as me and to be completely honest, I’m not a Pizza Hut girl.  With something as important as proposing, I don’t think Pizza Hut is the way to win over the girl.  The only ways pizza is the right meal for proposing is if you are doing it at the place you had your first date, it’s a really nice like brick over or something pizza place, you are making it yourself from scratch, or the ring is on the pizza with the topping spelling out the question (Okay, the last one might be stretching it but it’s still better than this whole package thing).

Now to end it let’s look at two proper ways to ask the most important question of your life:

I would have totally missed my name and had the same reaction of her too.  But I probably would have wanted to finish the level so I wouldn’t die.

And of course, this is the best proposal in the world (The only problem with this one is that it’s the wrong guy):

If it were Jake, it would be perfect.  But what girl doesn’t want to be taken into Tiffany’s and told to pick.  After all, I’m just crazy about Tiffany’s.

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