I have just come across some information that I am very excited about. I might be a little behind on the news but that’s okay because it does not hinder my excitement. That news is that Paramount has signed on for Paranormal Activity 4! I know I’m not the only person who loves this news. However, I may be the only person who has a really weird love-hate relationship with the franchise and will never miss a single movie. It’s kind of like my mama and Twilight. She may have hated the first one but she is determined to see the series through just because. I will stand by the only good ones in that series was New Moon because Edward was peace out and Eclipse because their acting wasn’t completely terrible (It’s getting better. The last movie sucked but that was all writing).
Let’s recap my Paranormal experience thus far.
The first one. Oh, the first Paranormal Activity. I was so excited about it. All that hype about it being the scariest movie ever and being reassured by the reaction shots in the commercials and the fact every other person in my high school was scared to death to see it. My mama, daddy, and I saw it opening day. I was so excited I probably could have peed myself (I know, TMI but it needed to be described that way). We sat down for this fabulous piece of movie history and 86 minutes later, I was ready to cry.
That was the biggest let down of my life. There was nothing scary about that movie. It wasn’t anything I didn’t see on Ghost Hunters and Ghost Adventures and all those other ghost shows on a weekly basis. At one point, I zoned out so much that I’m pretty sure I was asleep. I was left with an empty, sinking feeling at the end of the movie. All I can do was say, “Ew, scary. A blanket moving,” in a really sarcastic voice or scream “MIIIIIICCCCAAAHHHH!” because we all know the ending with Micah dying was the best part (I’m still upset about this because he was cute). I mean, seriously, my like 10 year old cousin asked me why we were watching something so stupid (Okay, she does like scary stuff as much as me so maybe this isn’t a reliable source). I will say, however, that as much as I hate Ouija boards and think they are evil, theirs was very pretty and it was really cool when it caught on fire.
Then came the second movie. I still thought the premise was really interesting and I liked the execution in as far as it was POV on a handheld yet still much better done than The Blair Witch Project. I thought the execution as far as script detail and dialogue and, okay, let’s admit it, acting was what killed the first one. So, I went to the second one (Hey, don’t judge me. I was interested in what was going on because I was still confused at what happened in the first one).
To be completely honest, I hated the second one. I thought it was worse than the first one. It was so boring and the writing wasn’t any better. My mama liked it because it gave more background into the story. Okay, yes, the background part was integral in me liking the franchise because it’s just messed up but the execution for this was just horrendous. I was bored out of my mind when we watched it in theaters. I was so bored out of my mind when I tried watching it right before the third one came out that I gave up and watched something else, happily assuming I could recall all the important information. Whatever. This movie blew. And I totally picked up on bad editing at least twice where things came and disappeared…and not for cinematic value.
Now for the third one. I may have been a little harsh on the first two installments but that all changed when I saw the third one. I absolutely love this movie. I saw it in theaters not once but twice because I loved it. This first time was with my parents. My mama hated this one. The second time I was with them and a few boys who think they are really tough but screamed like little girls and didn’t want me in the car on the way home because all girls would bring demons into their lives (Let’s just say none of them can hold a stable relationship anyway but this didn’t help).
I love that we keep going back in time. I love the ending with the whole scary freaking witch coven thing and Dennis getting snapped in two. That may have been the best part of the series thus far. And when the sheet collapsed behind the babysitter and we thought it was Kristi or the whole Bloody Mary thing. Ah, I’ve always been scared of that anyway but that was just some good stuff. I know there are some holes in the plot that a lot of people complained about but the script was good enough for me to suspend my disbelief when I hated the first two movies so get over it. I’m sure there will be an explanation in the fourth movie (Or you could just realize that movies aren’t real life. I’m sorry if I have to burst your bubble and be the bearer of bad news here).
Now, we’re all wondering where the fourth one is going to go. I’ve done some quick research and can’t find the real information–just a lot of conjectures. I read one article that was clearly a huge joke but had some interesting ideas in the comments. I really like the one where they think Toby is Kristi and Katie’s grandfather and leader of that scary, unsanitary witch coven (I’m with Dean Winchester on this one: witches are just unsanitary). The whole thing about following the life of Kristi’s daughter, Ali, was just ensuring me not seeing it. It needs to revolve around either Katie and Kristi, Grandma Lois, or Hunter. I’m agreeing that clearly we cannot have the story go back to how Grandma Lois got involved in the coven because video cameras either wouldn’t exist or be very popular for personal use (I kind of like the idea of having someone research it in a pseudo-documentary so we can figure out exactly how it all started but I think breaking the tradition of home-shot videos and not following the family would just ruin any prospective for future installments being a success).
Here’s the two ways I see the fourth being good and, yes, I realize these are both popular theories but I really think it’s what needs to be done. It can either be the 1992 tapes because we’ve seen the other two major hauntings the girls have experienced so far–1988 and 2006–or it can be following Katie after she kidnapped Hunter and the bodies were found.
I think the 1992 tapes need to come first. We’ve been going back in time this whole franchise so I think we need to see exactly what has happened before we get to present times again. That’s why I think the 1992 tapes should be the fourth installment and make the fifth be right after or a little further in the future after the kidnapping and make that the last installment. It would wrap the series up beautifully and not let it outstay it’s welcome (Another article I read compared it to the Scream franchise since the fourth was a letdown because there was too much time between movies but let’s get real–the third one sucked with or without there being a fourth one so no one was really encouraged to see the newest one–not that I hated it. I actually thought it wasn’t half bad).
So as I was saying, the fourth one, the 1992 videos. They have to clear up the house fire since we never actually got to that in the third one. I think Grandma Lois needs to be a bigger character so we can get the back story that we need. We need to see how the girls handled seeing Dennis snapped in two and their mother being hanged by an unseen force. We need to understand who is taking care of the girls since I assumed the mother was dead but as it was pointed out in the comments of the article, the girls’ mom was mentioned in the first movie about how she acted later on in life–meaning after all this insanity went down. The theory is that the mom was just knocked out and injured but isn’t dead.
Everyone is also explaining the most recent haunting in a way I really like. Why don’t the girls remember any of what happened in the third like their pretty much stepdad dying? The coven brainwashed them. Then Toby is reappearing now (or in 2006 or whatever) because Katie brought the tapes into knowledge after their grandma died (She inherited them she said). He is either trying to keep them from watching the tapes or because the tapes are now reappearing, so is he to fulfill his whole needing the first son thing. No, no one can come up with a good reason as to why Grandma Lois kept the tapes but we’ll leave that up to the writers. Clearly, they are getting better at what they do and that’s why they are paid for writing the movies and we are not.
The fifth and final movie would then come back to present time. It would be Katie off–still possessed or doing Toby’s bidding–with Hunter in tow. Someone said to have it be where Hunter is a toddler and can talk and I think I like that idea. Let’s have him be character who can let us know what’s going on and I think Toby would wait to eat him or serve his purpose in whatever way he will when he is a little older anyway. Then, we wrap the whole story up in this movie. We have all the background from a combination of all the films we need to be satisfied as the audience and I see probably Katie and everyone involved dying in the end so that everything is just finished. Okay, maybe we don’t kill Hunter. That would be just mean.
I can almost guarantee what I will be doing the day Paranormal Activity 4 comes out. It won’t be a surprise if I am at the theaters and it won’t surprise me if I as disappointed by the movie. But there’s just something about this story that keeps me coming back time after time.