Team Hatfield, right here.

Published June 13, 2012 by jrm17

As always, I’m a little over a week behind writing on this but who can blame me when the Hatfields and McCoys was a total like what 6 hours?  You cannot expect me to watch that something that needs that much paying attention to that late at night.  Therefore, I love my DVR dearly and it recorded all three parts from me.  All three parts that I was able to spread out over the course of a week and enable my enjoyment of the mini series.  So let’s take a look at this History channel phenomena.

First off, I am totally Team Hatfield.  I don’t really know if it’s a question but I love the Hatfields.  I want to be a Hatfield (I will marry Johnse right now if y’all want me to prove it).  Now, what do I like about them that makes the Hatfields so much cooler than the McCoys?  One word–attitude.  Those Hatfields aren’t afraid to go up and just shoot anyone (I’ll get to that point in a minute).  I feel like the McCoys are kind of sneaky and too scared to do their own dirty work.  I mean what kind of self-respecting Southerner hires bounty hunters to fight their feud for them?  Putting the blood on someone else’s hands–yeah that’s the way to help yourself in the eyes of the God that you complain about when your family gets killed.  It’s not like McCoys ever did anything to Hatfields…ever…yeah….

I am also Team Hatfield because of Johnse, Anderson, and Cotton.  Now, I’ll start with Anderson.  I’m not really sure why but I like the way he handles things compared to Randall.  He’s quieter and gets his crap done whereas Randall runs his mouth and listens to that lawyer who is just a snake.  I don’t like that lawyer guy whatsoever.  Now, Cotton, he’s just a cutie.  I thought is was one of the most adorable things when Ellison told Cotton he wasn’t a bastard because that meant you didn’t have a family that loved you.  And when Cotton told Nancy that Johnse didn’t like her because she was a whore, I cracked up.  Technically, I am not totally finished the last part but I know what happens and I am not going to be happy when he dies.  My theory–in conjunction with my mama’s–is that Cotton is used as the scapegoat to end the feud because he wasn’t a Hatfield by blood and Ellison was dead and, therefore, not there to stop it.

Now, getting to Johnse.  Right off the bat, I knew I liked him.  It was mostly because he was in Ten Inch Hero and I absolutely loved him as Sully in Harper’s Island.  Then he opened his mouth and I don’t know if people swoon anymore or what swooning really is but I think I was swooning.  He’s got the accent and he’s a good ole’ boy who makes his money making whiskey.  He’s a total playboy (Umm, what cute country boys aren’t?).  Then, he met Roseanna McCoy and I was pulling for them as soon as Johnse saw her in the courtroom.  I knew they were meant to be.  As soon as that boy “kissed her properly” so she could say she’d been kissed, I was putting my money in them being the lovers who everyone was pulling for but knew just wouldn’t work.  Let’s just say that I’m working really hard to convince Michael to name our unborn son (taking for granted we will have a son in the very far future) Anderson “Anse” Johnse.  It’s a good name.  Much better than his ideas.  And that way you know he’ll be destined for being a fighter.  And our daughter will be Roseanna Elizabeth after Johnse’s true love and their baby girl.  Plus, I’ve always liked the name Rose.

Speaking of Johnse and his girls, that Nancy McCoy is one slutty little bee-otch.  I cannot believe that Johnse would marry her (Okay, I can) or that there were girls that skanky back in the day.  Cotton hit the nail on the head when he called her a whore because I cannot stand Nancy McCoy.  I know she doesn’t die but she can go away anytime and I’ll be happy.

Of course, you can’t talk about this without debating what actually starts the feud (And let me tell you that I know people from the West Virginia-Kentucky line and this could so happen there even today).  My mama thinks that it all started with the McCoy accusing Uncle Jim of using his dog as his “whore.”  Well, yeah, that’s some fighting words right there but I don’t really think that’s it.  That could’ve had well enough left alone.  I think it was when Devil Anse shot the McCoys in the middle of the road when he was on his way home from the war.  You see, I’m a strong believer in actions speak louder than words.  Sure, accusing someone of sleeping with their dog are some strong words but actually pulling the trigger and shooting someone is a lot more powerful than saying something.  Killing them started it, the accusation added fuel to the fire, and the pig trial was the straw that broke the camel’s back and caused all Hell to break loose.

I agree with the one Hatfield boy on the jury that the pig was McCoy’s.  Then again, I am pretty well convinced he wouldn’t be smart enough to be able to hide the fact he stole the pig if he did so that really could have been the Hatfield mark and the pig wasn’t McCoy’s.  I think my point is proven when the McCoys eat the pig when it should have been brought to the trial (I could be completely wrong here.  I was really confused for the first hour or so with all the different characters).  That trial was a circus and a complete joke as far as the legal system is concerned.  The killing is what started it in my head but I think the pig caused the final explosion before everyone started killing each other.

To be completely honest, I don’t know how much of this was sensationalized for entertainment value and how much of it is historically accurate.  I’m going to guess that the overall concept and the major point are true while little things–like the killing the dog…hopefully–are dramatized.  I think it was really well executed in making history really interesting.  A lot of times, you hear Kevin Costner talking about how well shot it was and I definitely agree with that, too.  The acting was very well done.  All of them were very believable in the roles.  More history should be like that and maybe I would be able to enjoy it and not fall asleep every time I get a history lesson (*cough cough* Michael who is reading this).

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