Once Upon A Time…

Published June 20, 2012 by jrm17

So a year ago today at this exact moment…well, okay at this exact moment I was probably eating cereal or sleeping.  However, that night I went on the first date with Michael.  Yes, we saw Green Lantern and it was my fault for seeing a kind of dumb movie just because I like Ryan Reynolds.  Nevertheless, we have officially lasted one year so I figured I would write about some of the things I’ve learned over this year (Trust me, this does not make me a relationship expert in any way, shape, or form but this is solely based off my experience…which is probably very strange compared to most people’s).

1. The way to tell he loves you is through his actions.  This is probably actually true for everyone but this just recently slapped me in the face (I’m a little slow when it comes to stuff like this).  You see, I am pale.  Very pale.  Like vampire pale.  Nonetheless, every year I try to get a tan.  It never works.  I never learn my lesson.  This year didn’t change anything.  We spent a day a few weekends ago laying out by my grandma’s pool.  I don’t listen (It’s a stubborn thing.  I have a problem) and didn’t put on any sunscreen.  I got red.  Like Larry the Lobster on Spongebob red (And there might be some sun poison blisters).  I was miserable.  For at least two straight days, Michael spent the entire time scratching and peeling my back for me.  He dealt with my whiney-ness from being so itchy and uncomfortable.  On that second night, we were watching the game and after he peeled probably an entire layer of skin off my back, I rolled over and told him that things like that are the reasons I know he loves me because I know that there is no way he would have ever done it if he didn’t.  Little things like that mean a whole lot more than words.  Maybe it’s because I’m lame and I love the little things people remember but hey, actions speak louder than words, right?

2. Learning to compromise isn’t something that comes easily.  Lord knows that I am not good at compromising amd not getting my way (It has nothing to do with me being an only child and has everything to do with me being a stubborn, hard-headed girl).  There have been lots of times when Michael has compromised for me–yes, the whole vegetarian thing comes in here and I appreciate it every time he eats tofu or actually anything vegetarian with me.  Sometimes it’s not compromise though so much as giving and taking I guess.  I’m thinking of this one time when we were going on a double date with our friends.  Somehow the facts that Rum Diaries was playing and I love Hunter S. Thompson were overlooked by everyone.  Also overlooked was the fact that I would have rather cut my eyes out than have seen Three Musketeers.  Well, guess what everyone–except me–decided to see?  Yep.  And guess who was a very unhappy person?  Right again.  Michael knew this.  So what did he do?  He took me to get food at our favorite coffee shop and drove to like three different grocery stores just so he could find dark chocolate Chex mix for us to eat during the movie.  The movie sucked…massively.  But I really appreciated him doing that for me since I was seeing that movie for him.

3. Differences make things a little more interesting and a whole lot easier.  You know what happens with two people in a relationship who are exactly the same?  They fight…a lot…and everything is really boring.  Michael and I are…well, we actually agree on a lot of things–the important things–but our interests and ways of handling things are completely different.  As we always put it, we balance each other out.  He’s a complete nerd who is calm in almost any situation and never gets outright mad.  I am a country girl who loves sports and reading and shopping and a million other things who gets mad quicker than anything and is prone to panic attacks.  I’ve opened him  up to the world of the Orioles, romantic comedies, and country music.  I’ve learned about some technology stuff (I try really hard to understand) and about sci-fi movies.  Turns out, the new stuff we try for each other is usually pretty awesome.

4. Everything is easier when you do it together.  Want to know how I’m making through this department paper (Whoo hoo!  Page 71!)?  It might be because I have Michael to chat with on Facebook every morning when I’m writing it.  I also have him to talk it through with and I know he’s listening and wants to help me.  He there when I’m frustrated because I’m going to run out of sources before I reach my minimum goal of 80 pages.  I don’t know about him.  I’d like to assume he feels the same way.  I know it’s easier to go running and actually exercise when I’m with him.  It’s also easier to tackle an entire carton of ice cream and a pizza when I’m with him.  I’d like to think that he thinks getting through things is easier when I’m there for him, too.  Being there for each other is an integral part of a relationship but you never really here that just doing everything is easier when you have each other there.

5.  Now, before I say this one, I want to say that you hear this one a lot (or some variance.  You’ll get it after I explain) but it was something I never believed.  That is that while dressing up and looking nice for each other is cool, nothing beats lazing around and being comfortable together.  I swore I would never let Mike see me without makeup and looking like a bum.  Well, that quickly went away.  Sure it’s fun in the beginning when everything’s new but you know what’s better?  That comfort in knowing each other really well.  Turns out Michael thinks I’m cute in sweats and messy hair and no makeup.  Sure, I still like showing up in a dress and heels (As I will be for dinner tonight) but I love being in pajamas together on my bed while we watch the Orioles game.  I like knowing exactly how he is going to react to the dumb things I say or when I see things that I just have to tell him about because I know he’ll find it funny or cool or whatever.  Once again, I’d like to assume he feels the same.  I can’t really speak for him but we’ll just figure it’s what he’s thinking, too (Yeah, we know each other well but trust me, sometimes we never expect what comes out of the other’s mouth…especially when I have a mouth like a sailor).

Okay, there’s my relationship talk.  I don’t know if they are all universal.  I don’t know if they’ll stay true in our relationship (I’d like to think they will).  Mostly, I say this because I sadly cannot predict the future but there’s one thing I know for sure.  It takes a lot of work to make a relationship last as I have seen from my parents but I know we are both willing to put forth the effort and between the two of us, we might just be able to be Pinky and The Brain and take over the world.  Y’all better watch out 🙂


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