Shake Your Keys

Published June 25, 2012 by jrm17

I’m going to do my best not to be mean to the Keys because a) I love the Orioles and b) we always have fun at the games.  You see, we go to at least one game a season (though it seems the rain gods aren’t really pleased with us ever) and we went on Friday night.  We made it further into the game than last time we attempted–it poured, we left, they played at like midnight.  We actually made it through all nine innings a lot quicker than normal.  That quickness is part of what I’m going to start picking on.

The reason the game went so quickly–about 2 hours and 15 minutes–is because we weren’t scoring at all.  That’s not to say this was a pitcher’s battle by any means because our pitching sucked.  The starter, Tim Berry, went 5 innings and gave up 6 runs.  I’m never a fan of giving up more runs than innings pitched.  In fact, it sucks.  God help us if this one makes it to the big leagues anytime soon.  The worst part of his performance was that he actually literally just gave them a run thanks to walking two batters and hitting another two on top of that.  Somehow his ERA is still a pretty respectable 2.70.  He must’ve been doing a lot better in his other starts because if  the other night was any indication of the rest of his season, then I have no clue how they reached that number.

Another reason the Pelicans racked up 9 runs (Seriously?  Nine?  Pathetic.) was the errors.  You can tell these boys are future Orioles because they had two errors on the night.  Since we are…what are we second in errors now?  I think the Jays had one the other night that tied them or put them ahead of us…these boys are destined to be on our team.  I hate errors.  I know they are part of the game but when you are being paid to play baseball for a living (Yes, I know minor leaguers barely make enough to live on but still), I just think you should play a little more cleanly than what I saw.  I know I’ve only been to one game but that was the eighth in a row they lost at home and the Friday night loss put them at not having won a game since June 11th.  I’ve been through that crap with the O’s and it’s not fun.  And it means you clearly aren’t doing something right.

Okay, I’m done complaining about the game.  I’ll complain about other aspects of it now 🙂 .  First off, I would expect a minor league game to cost less for concessions than me going to Camden Yards.  You see, we did the math and for a six pack of Natty Boh at OPACY, it will cost you $48.  Yes, I am aware they are bigger cans than in an actual six pack but it’s still the premise here.  Whit and I went to get drinks and I really wanted a Mountain Dew.  Well, I am not going to pay like $5 for a freaking bottle of Mountain Dew.  The beer was basically just as expensive as getting it at an O’s game (even more expensive if you wanted Flying Dog even though they are a Frederick based company) and wine was $6 for what I’m going to guess was maybe 4 ounces (It would be pushing it to call it an actual glass of wine).  What did I do to get a drink?  I went over to the kids area and got one of those little cans of soda for $1.  I realize that it’s expensive for that size but it was cheaper and just the right amount of soda.

We went on the fact that it was supposed to be Fredneck Night and everyone knows Whit and I can’t pass up anything redneck.  I wouldn’t call it even remotely redneck or country.  I’m not really sure where the theme came in other than the players had a cowboy hat graphic on their heads on the big screen.  There was a really cute monkey rodeo where they rode dogs to herd sheep.  I love most farm animals (note: most).  I love monkeys.  I love dogs.  I was one of the cutest things ever.  And someone should have thrown a bottle at the protestors outside against it because they are just being stupid.  Like Whit said, the monkeys don’t look like they are having anything but fun.  It’s the dogs doing the work.

Fireworks night is always a winner in our book because the Keys actually put on a pretty good show.  Well, it was good with the exception where they had some misfires that had Whit scared the stadium was going to burn down.  It’s clearly no Fourth of July show but it’s a lot of fun when you are with friends to see them.  They last probably five minutes or so and with Whitney the pryo, it’s pretty funny to listen to her, too.  She would give anything to get her pyrotechnics license.

The best part of the whole game, though, was that I figured out exactly what my daughter with Nick Markakis would look like.  We saw the cutest little girl in the world who had Nick’s complexion and my curly hair (even in a ponytail that would stay straight on her head.  (It sucks always having a crooked ponytail).  She had her little pink glove ready to catch a foul ball.  She had on her Markakis t-shirt with her jean skirt and pink sneakers.  She marched around like she owned that field.  I’m pretty sure she could have been my child.

One weird thing about the night is that I don’t think we saw Keyote anywhere (Wait, he may have danced on the dugout at one point).  It’s kind of weird going to the game and not seeing the mascot.  They are trying out Frank Key to target an audience more closer to my age but I don’t really think anyone likes him as much as Keyote.  Maybe he was with the Oriole bird at the Five Below opening.  Michael and I lucked out by showing up at Five Below right when the Orioles bird came out to greet people.  I got my picture taken 🙂 .  He liked me.  Michael might have some competition on his hands since he is my favorite bird.

All in all, going to a Keys game is like any other baseball game.  It’s always fun.  It’s always too expensive.  But you know you’ll go back time and time again for the love of baseball and to have a good time with your friends.  They only good thing about these games is I’m not as dedicated as I am to the Orioles so things are a little less stressful from the fan perspective.  However, after the game being played like that, Whitney and I have toyed with the idea of becoming Pelicans fans.  She’s thinking of going to a game the next time they are in Myrtle Beach.

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