I’m not sure what brought it about the other day but we were lying around and talking when Michael said something about getting one of those books you fill out questions about your relationship and stuff together. I thought it sounded like fun and instantly became obsessed with getting one. Luckily, Jess-squared and I had lunch plans at the mall so I knew I’d be hitting Barnes and Nobel afterwards. Michael met up with us, we bought All About Us and home we came to start filling it out.
Okay, granted while we were doing this we were watching Trading Spouses, but it seemed like we have a really good relationship (Note: We hadn’t gotten to the deep stuff yet). We were laughing and talking about stuff. Some of it dealt with the crazy people on the show and some of it dealt with our answers. It was going swimmingly until we started hitting questions that we didn’t really have answers for. I mean there are just some things you can’t answer like I do not have a favorite thing Michael says all the time (I’m not sure there’s anything he really says over and over). We took a break after like 50 pages and watched the Mets until Big Brother came on.
Since Mike left for Pennsylvania to see family this morning, I took the opportunity to fill my boredom with finishing my part of the book (Hey, don’t judge. I’m impatient and got like three pages of my paper written before I started again). I would just like to say that when you check yes at the beginning of the book, agreeing to be okay and accept whatever you learn later on, you’re probably ensuring some trouble.
There’s a lot of questions about cheating and faithfulness. Now, neither of us have ever cheated and I’d like to think neither of us ever will but it’s some touchy stuff. One of the questions asks if you had ever been asked out during your relationship by someone else. Now, this probably wouldn’t bother most couples as much as the questions about past relationships would (Let’s just say neither of us have any sanity in our past so we could have a good laugh during that section) but I wasn’t too happy about this question. You see, I might have a bit of a jealous side so I’m not really sure I want to know Michael’s answer. And, I answered truthfully which meant I had to check off “Just once” (Surprise, Mike! If we haven’t talked about this yet here’s one of the things I was worried about). I feel like this book is just asking for fights in couples that aren’t too stable. Lucky for me, I’ve put Mike through a lot worse than me being asked out while we’ve been together. Plus, it’s not like I actually went out with the guy–though it was nice to be asked.
That’s not the worst though. A lot of these things are asking about things you never want your significant other to do again, things you want to change about them emotionally, mentally, and physically, and my favorite, “Without thinking name the one person you know (other than your spouse) who you would want to spend the rest of you life with?” I’m pretty sure Mike can guess which guy friend I’d pick but I’m sure he’s not happy to think about it. I wasn’t happy thinking about it because I don’t want that guy. Clearly, I don’t even want to imagine who Michael is going to pick when he finishes the book.
I can’t say this is the worst thing we’ve ever done. It’s had some benefits. We got to laugh when it asked which friend we would never let set us up on a blind date and the two we picked are dating each other. There was some cute stuff talked about and we got to reminisce about cute, little things. I think it will probably help us be stronger when we talk about our answers to some of the questions that I’m worried about (Okay, it’ll help me. Mike probably won’t be fazed by it because he never is). The thing is though, I don’t think any of these would be things I’d have worried about if it weren’t for this book. I went in thinking we would be talking about stuff we liked and things we never wanted to do again (Most of which we’ve already talked about) and things about the future (Other than naming kids, it only asks what worries you about your future together pretty much). Now, with him in a different state, I’m worried about the discussions we’ll have to have when he gets home.
I think this is something that could really help a couple in trouble that wants to work on things or really screw up a couple that is oblivious to how messed up they are but it isn’t for a couple that just wants to do something fun together. It is going to show those screwed up couples things that they didn’t even think about and it’s probably going to end in a huge fight that will inevitably end in a break up. It’s going to show those couples in trouble what they need to work on or at least give a new perspective into their relationship that could really help. For us, it’s causing me anxiety and boring Michael. None of the stuff is really important to who we are as a couple because we are together and we love each other and it’s all trivial but in my head, it’s this huge issue that has me super worried. If it were anything either of us thought was important, we’d have already discussed it. And all the cute stuff, yeah, we talk about that stuff anyway but I do like having in writing how cute he thinks I am 😉 .
All in all, I wouldn’t call this a terrible thing to do (yet). I just think it wasn’t something that we needed to do. I blame myself since I thought it was a brilliant idea originally but I was expecting something a little different out of the book. I was thinking more “let’s plan the future” and less “let’s make Jessie nervous.” However, it has got me interested in a totally new field of books because I’m dying to read The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate–and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top because I was reading the preview when I was looking for our book and thought it seemed really funny. Let’s hope that doesn’t come with the same consequences as this one did.