If That’s What Men Want, It’s A Good Thing I’m Not Single

Published July 23, 2012 by jrm17

Okay, remember how I said I wanted to read The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate–and What Women Can Do to Come Out on To by Steve Santagati because I thought it sounded really funny from the preview on Amazon.  Yeah, one of the more stupid ideas I’ve had when it comes to reading books.  Let’s just say I was so disgusted by this book that I have yet to finish it and I’m more than halfway through the third Stephanie Plum, Three to Get Deadly.

Now, I will preface this with I’m only like 100 pages in but like I said, you read the preview for a while and it sounds really funny.  It didn’t sound like anything offensive or really helpful.  I thought it would just be a humorous, so-called insight to bad boys and the male mind.  Boy was I completely wrong.  This is such a stupid and offensive book that I cannot believe  it’s getting 3.9 out of 5 stars on Amazon reviews unless there are a lot of guys giving it high ratings.  I did see one girl say that he was giving us brutal honesty on what men want but I’m pretty sure that’s only if you want to date a pig.

First, he gives you his definition of a bad boy and explains why all women want bad boys and despite our proclamations that we want nice guys, we really want bad boys because those are the ones who turn us on.  Well, I’m not going to fight him there because I’ve always been more prone to liking bad boys.  They have an attitude that I love and I feel like I won’t be dating a doormat like I would with nice guys (And the not-so-nice girl inside me would probably end up tearing the poor guy to shreds without thinking and then feel terrible afterwards).  So, good job.  You’ve told me something I’ve known my whole life.  Maybe there are girls out there oblivious to the fact that bad boys are always hotter than nice guys (No matter what the movies and books tell us.  It’s why I’m still drooling over Morelli three books and a movie later).

Then we start getting into the stuff that got me furious and annoyed.  The second section is filled with out “insight” to the male mind and tries to explain to us what we can do as females to get the guy.  Basically and maybe this is just me, I felt like he was telling us that we should all dress like classy sluts (If that’s even possible.  I might have a dress that could be considered that but it makes me feel a little more on the slutty side).  He emphasizes that we always have to look good because men are visual creatures.  They respond to things that are pretty and good looking.  Um, I thought girls were the ones who are supposed to go “Oh, sparkly” and get sucked in.  No?  Just me?  Oh, well.  Anyway, way to objectify us all.  And we should stop dressing fashion forward and worry more about dressing for guys because our girlfriends aren’t going to be the ones making us happy by cuddling on the couch and making out.  Well, no.  However, my best friends will be the ones to watch chick flicks, eat ice cream, and listen to me cry when some jerk breaks my heart.

Oh and by the way, we should basically always wear heels.  Why?  Because they make our butts and legs look good or some logic like that.  Well, let me explain to you one thing about everything he just said.  It’s like that scene in She’s the Man where she says heels were designed by men to make our butts look better and to make it harder for us to run away (Sorry I couldn’t find it on YouTube before I head off to work this morning).  I have the boy who will dispute all of this.  Yes, he likes when I dress up and everything but it’s gotten to the point where when I come over after work, he’d rather me change into what he’s calling comfy clothes.  I think yesterday was the first time in weeks–other than on vacation a few days or bedtime–that he saw me in something other than a dress or dress clothes.  And he always worries about my feet and how bad they are hurting when I’m wearing heels more than a few hours or doing a lot of walking.  He’d rather me be in flip-flops or bare feet with sweats and a t-shirt on so I’m comfy rather than dressing to please a guy.  Michael’s a keeper, thank you very much.

My favorite part I’ve read so far is wear he is discussing our careers.  We shouldn’t really even bother telling a guy we meet what we do because he doesn’t care unless it involves a pole, basically (And, yeah, that’s not a quote but it’s pretty darn close).  It apparently doesn’t matter what our job entails and he will admit that sometimes it scares guys when our jobs involve those letters like CEO or PhD.  I hate to break it to him but Michael thinks it’s awesome that I have such high career ambitions (Though I am thinking bounty hunter would be an excellent career choice.  I got some guys willing to go into business with me).  If a guy doesn’t care about what my job is, then he probably isn’t worried about too much other things about me other than how he can get into my pants.  My job is part of my interests and I would like to think that Mr.Right cares about your interests and dreams.  And if the fact I want to be an award-winning journalist or do something that helps people with my sociology degree or be a bounty hunter scares you off, then clearly, it was not meant to be.  Does that mean Michael should have broken up with me the minute I was offered departmental honors?  Or when I got my internship at the magazine or was inducted into Phi Kappa Phi honor society for being in like the top 5 percent of my graduating class?  Well, then he should have gotten rid of me ages ago then.  Maybe he’s just different but he’s been there to support me in all my school and career achievements while we’ve been together and he always asks what’s going on at work and reading the stuff I write.

I feel like this book doesn’t teach anything worthwhile (and definitely not worthy of the $15 it costs at Barnes and Nobel).  It might help some poor girl who is desperate and defined by her relationship status but it’s not what a normal girl needs.  I know, if he read this, Santagati would probably start critiquing  my attitudes, the way I dress, my job, and everything else about me and he’d probably say that yeah, Michael does all those things but is he a bad boy or makes sparks fly or whatever his analogy is?  Truth is, you’d have to be stupid to think I’d be with someone this long without that aspect.  Heck, I pretty much think like a dude when it comes to that aspect and I wouldn’t have given him the time of day to begin with if I didn’t think he was cute.  And as far as I am concerned, rip my everything to pieces, I don’t care.  I’d still stay true to myself.  Maybe we just have a weird relationship (We do but I don’t think it’s weird in this aspect.  It’s weird for the fact we’re both weird) but he’s my best friend and my boyfriend and we actually care about the things going on with each other that doesn’t involve how we look physically or sex and that kind of stuff.  You know what I think, I think he’s a self-proclaimed bad boy who needs a woman who will entertain that side while making him into a man because that’s what women what…a man.  You know, that word that’s not in bad boy.  There’s a reason they are called bad boys and not bad men.


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