Just Call Me Glenda the Good Witch

Published July 25, 2012 by jrm17

From Sabrina to Samantha to Cassie, I have always thought being a witch would be one of the coolest things ever. I’m sitting here watching The Craft and thinking the same thing I always think: wouldn’t it be awesome to have those kinds of powers–powers that could make whatever I wanted happen.  Yes, I know that with great power comes great responsibility and whatnot but I think I could handle it.  I’ve got a pretty big conscious and wouldn’t do anything that would hurt another person (too badly) and I would only do small things for myself.  So what would be my first things I’d conjure up?

Well, my first spell would benefit all of mankind…okay, those of us with a massive sweet tooth.  I would make ice cream that not only doesn’t make you gain a ton of wait, but how about ice cream that’s healthier for you than broccoli?  Yep.  I don’t see anything wrong with it.  It would make me be allowed to eat as much ice cream as I wanted (And that would probably reach proportions that would be really ugly after I invoke my powers of eating like a baby dinosaur).  Plus, it would help all those who much like me do not know portion control when it comes to ice cream.  Okay, so maybe not everyone would be as happy as me but I think it would be one of the best uses of witch powers ever.

Okay, so the next few aren’t exactly beneficial to anyone by myself.

Sure, I’d want the perfect hair/body/skin stuff that any girl with powers like that would want but more than that (okay, maybe they’d be on an equal playing field) I would want clothes.  All kinds of clothes–designer, vintage, country, rock, work, dresses, jeans, heels, flip-flops, boots.  I would clothes that make Jennifer Aniston and Lauren Conrad jealous.  Heck, I would have Lauren Conrad be my personal clothing designer.  Anyway, enough of the superficial stuff….

I’ve got a pretty good boyfriend so I wouldn’t be doing any love spells.  However, I could make our lives and my parents’ a whole lot easier.  Of course, being me I wouldn’t be satisfied with just some old wealth spell.  No.  I would want this to affect my job somehow.  Now, first thing that comes to my mind is award-winning country singer.  But then I think that’s a lot of being on the road and I’m not so good with being away from home for a long time.  Then I think award-winning journalist but that just seems like something I plan on doing anyway so that’s no fun.  Princess is a little much though totally possible.  I think my powers would get me a really cool job helping people that somehow miraculously just happen to get a huge pay bump.  I wonder if Habitat for Humanity has any openings that could use me in it?

Then again, I could get really creative (read: lazy) and not get myself such an awesome job so much as make Michael get one.  I could make him like dean of our college or professional football player.  Hmmm, I like the professional football player thing.  I wouldn’t probably enjoy the whole on the road thing but they only play for a few weeks compared to a baseball player’s 162 games every day.  Okay, football player probably wouldn’t work.  I don’t know.  Maybe I’ll just let him chose.

Of course, I wouldn’t be happy using my powers unless I didn’t make a few other things happen.  Miranda Lambert would be my new best friend.  Maybe, I could join the Pistol Annies.  Just call me Moonshine Annie.  And, yeah, I would be in tight with BG, Eric Church, Justin Moore, Lee Brice, Kellie Pickler, Laura Bell Bundy…all of them.  And they would be do some huge concert in my town.  I’ve got just the field for it and I’m pretty confident that all those country folk would love our little town.

Another thing I would do would be to buy The Christmas Shop in Manteo, NC.  If you know the place, you’re probably thinking why would you do that to Eddie?  Well, I would be helping him by giving him an owner who would absolutely never let any dumb builders come in and put up condos.  Plus, there’s this little deal he made that he would stay on for a year and show the new owner how to run the shop just like it is today (It’s a huge deal to those of us who love it if you didn’t know).  That new owner wouldn’t be me though.  It would be my parents.  My mom would love to work with Eddie and live down there.  Her and dad would love to run a shop like that and be able to talk to people all the time.  It would make the perfect gift for my parents and I know it would be the best thing ever.

Speaking of North Carolina, I would probably be buying the Nights in Rodanthe House.  Well, maybe not but I would definitely be getting myself a house in the Outer Banks.  I would do something really nice for the community down there, too.  It would certainly be something for the environment and protecting everything from builders wanting to put up condos but I would want to do something else, too.  I don’t know what since I’m clearly never going to have these kinds of powers but I would come up with something good.

Okay, so enough of my ranting on wanting to have witch powers.  It would definitely be a change in my life but I would swear to use mine only for good.  I could even wear a big, pink dress like Glenda the Good Witch if it would convince everyone (Plus, it’s pink 🙂 ).  Considering my current super power is being able to eat like a baby dinosaur, I’m pretty sure that it would be a big upgrade.  In the mean time, I’ll just have to figure out how I can make all this happen with out just being able to twitch my nose or point my finger and make sparks fly.


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