Home Is Where The Heart Is But Not The Courage

Published August 20, 2012 by jrm17

I know they say you can’t go home again…And if you know anything about country music, you probably know the rest of that song.  Anyway, I officially know why no one ever wants to leave home.  I’ve been gone the past week with Michael and our friends (Read: three boys and one girl).  I have realized that as much as I like to believe I’m one of the guys, there is nothing like being at home and not having to please everyone else (Yes, I had fun but I’m not so good at not being dramatic and hiding my emotions).  But more than that it also made me realize that when I’m not home, different things happen for me.

This was the second trip I’d gone on with the group.  The boys have all been best friends for a while and the girl isn’t exactly a girly-girl.  So I succumbed to watching all their movies last year because I was new and I just wanted to not cause any trouble.  I don’t really like causing trouble anyway but this year, I knew everyone better and they all knew I was bored out of my mind (with the exception of little Miss Self-Centered). Ninjas, random and pointless violence, and movies that lack plots aren’t of any interest to me.  I really couldn’t care less.  Therefore, I read Stephanie Plum.  Hard Eight, To The Nines, and part of Ten Big Ones met their match.  I guess I’m just a bit of a spoiled little girl because I’m used to only watching movies that at least interest me a little.  Even when it’s Michael’s turn to pick a movie, he’ll pick something I might like (I’d like to think I do the same for him).  I was missing Katherine Heigl and a little comedy with some romance and I was missing sports.  I needed some baseball and I needed some Say Yes To The Dress.  My only solution was to be antisocial and watch One For The Money on my laptop.  Sorry, guys!

Of course, being interested in what’s on TV wasn’t the only thing I was missing.  I was in some serious need of a mall!  I missed shopping.  I couldn’t even do online shopping because we didn’t have Internet.  I was officially going crazy with my only shopping coming at the grocery store.  I couldn’t even shop in my own closet because I could only bring so much clothes. Okay, maybe it’s not so much that I wanted to go shopping as much as I wanted to leave the house for more than going to the dock or the grocery store.  I was going nuts.  I needed to get out.  Okay.  Maybe I need to go shopping, too.  I always need shopping.  And not for food.

Speaking of groceries, I love eating junk food and going on one of those binges for a day or so but after a week, I just want my mama to cook for me.  I made fritatta one night and there were crabs almost every night but I was fending for myself (except for veggie burgers) mostly.  I hate making people leave something out of their recipe even if making it vegetarian would be easier.  I just feel like I’m complaining and need to keep my mouth shut.  Plus, as much as I love pretzels, ice cream, PopTarts, and frozen pizza, I needed salad.  I needed vegetables.  I needed real food!  There are definitely some salads and not frozen meals in my immediate future.  I need a little more nutrition and a little less junk. But let me tell you, I realized that making a fritatta is some expensive stuff.  I bought the ingredients: eggs, two potatoes, an onion, frozen corn, and cheese and I spent $20.  That’s making a smaller, less veggie filled one at that.  Normally, we make it in a cast-iron skillet so there’s lots of room to make it tall.  I only had a glass casserole dish so I had to cut things down.

Now, I love everyone who was there with us, but I was in some desperate need of country by the end of the week.  Nerds are cool.  I love my nerd.  However, I needed to have some rednecks back in my life.  Therefore, I came home and headed up the road to our neighbors’ for cornhole and grilling.  It wasn’t planned but it was a good time.  You can always count on them to have a good time.

I know I sound like I’m complaining but I’m just trying to get the point across that there was some serious homesickness going on here.  I actually was very brave when on the trip this year.  First off, cooking the fritatta is something I would never do.  I was just so in need of real food that I had to.  You see, I’m always afraid that I’m going to screw something up or someone’s going to hate the food I cook.  I only cook for my parents and Michael because they won’t be mean even if they hate it.  Secondly, I was very brave with the live crabs…in two ways actually.  One was that when the crabs got stuck in the net when we caught them, I actually touched the live crabs.  I was terrified of getting pinched but I was unraveling them from the nets like a pro.

The second thing was something that I am very proud of.  It was one of those squeal inducing, scary things that I just wanted to do so I could feel brave.  I cooked some of the crabs.  It’s Michael’s job every year to cook them.  I always feel bad leaving him by himself and on the last night, he was cooking late so that we could take home our last day’s catch to our families.  I decided I was going to help.  I picked that crab up out of the keeper with the tongs and…dropped it back in.  Attempt number two went much better.  Heck, it was awesome.  I grabbed the crab again and got him.  And the one who grabbed on to him.  I got two crabs into the water on my very first attempt.  I was so proud of myself.  I squealed and jump up and down and hugged Mike.  It was probably the most exciting thing that happened all week for me.

You see, I think that I’ve got a new theory where homesickness and the crave for normality is something that happens but when you are away from home, that’s when you become braver.  I feel like every brave thing I do, I do when we are on a trip somewhere.  Of course, I’m not a very brave person so that could account for a lot of this.  I lean more on the side of “Get me home!” than balls to the wall.


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