Published January 4, 2013 by jrm17

When Jersey Shore first aired, we had a lot of Italian folks really mad over how it depicted their culture and people.  I thought they were being ridiculous because we all realize that not all Italian people act like that (But also because I really liked the first season and didn’t want it cancelled.  I feel so stupid now).  Now we have Buckwild.  At first (again), I thought Mr. Governor was being a little crazy not wanting the show in his state but now I’m totally on his side and the side of those poor Italians that I so wrongfully disagreed with a few years ago.  Buckwild is not showing what it claims to be showing but you might only know that if a) you are from the great state of West Virginia or its surrounding areas and b) if you are a redneck.

First off, the only ones I’m truly convinced are rednecks are the boys–especially Shain.  I’m not so sure on Tyler.  He might be a good country boy and he just might be your average Joe who wound up being born in a backwoods state.  But most of all, I am positive none of those girls are rednecks nor country girls.  They are pretty much some city girls who MTV picked out from a redneck high school.  Now, for those of you who don’t know WV well.  Charleston is the capital (i.e. a city) so those girls seemed to fit right in there but in Sissonville is a nice little country town like the one I live in.  The first thing I saw when I turned on this show (about 15 minutes into it) was a drunken party at a house in the city where some girl who thought she was country because she was wearing a plaid shirt was failing at fighting some lady who wanted them to quiet the party down.  There are quite a few things messed up about this scene if the show is supposed to be showing what it’s like to be a redneck child in the country.

First off, it’s not in the country.  I’ve never been to Charleston but from what it looks like, it could be the filming location for the next installment of the Stephanie Plum movies.  If they wanted real country, those girls would have been placed in their “new” house from the get go.  Parties don’t get broken up in the sticks.  Around here they never do.  There’s a few reasons for that.  One is because we are where the police don’t go.  I mean you occasionally see one patrolling around but they had to have been called with multiple times or for a serious reason (like a fight over drugs where someone gets their side bitten out and he has to be flown to the nearest big hospital…seriously).  And even then, it takes them a good hour or so to get here so we still have time for a few more beers, some more food, and enough time to head home before the cops show.  Secondly, it’s because the whole town is basically there.  We don’t separate the young and old, parents and kids.  We all party together.  It doesn’t matter if you are in high school or have kids in high school; you are invited to the party.  You need a whole lot less houses on top of each other for this to be shot in the country.

Okay, next, the whole drinking until you’re that drunk thing isn’t really what happens at parties.  Sure, there’s always one or two who get a little more than buzzed at the party and it changes at each party but usually everyone just has a good buzz.  And we never have that much drama.  The boys always go back and forth with each other because that’s what high school boys who are best friends do.  Sometimes a few high school girls show up and sometimes that adds to the drama but usually, they are girls who know how to handle redneck boys because they are redneck girls themselves.  Yes, the cast of this show drinking beer all day is something that happens.  If it’s not a week day or everyone’s home from work, you can walk around town and there’s plenty of beer to be seen but the parties just aren’t like theirs.  To be honest, this is what happens.  There’s a bonfire.  Everyone sort of congregates around that with a beer (or wine cooler if you aren’t a beer drinker).  If it’s cold, snowing, or raining, we head inside and squeeze into the kitchen and munch on food.  There’s a better chance of us drinking hard liquor if we are inside because we have less to do and it’s right there (There may have been some not so sneaky finishing off the bottle of Crown at one party that got a certain boy’s butt in trouble).  There’s a lot of talking and a lot of country radio playing on the truck stereo.  If you are lucky, Travis will be in a good mood and at the perfect buzzed level to start singing because that’s one of the funniest things ever (He may think that every song is written based on his life).  Mostly, you are guaranteed that something stupid will happen involving either a 4-wheeler, Wade (He’s like 8…I think), or a truck.

And, the worst thing about this show is that country folk do not go to clubs.  We go to bars, pubs, and honky tonks.  We like things with a twang.  Clubs are full of things that we hate.  City people being one of them.  Rap and dance music being a second thing.  Expensive alcohol is on the list.  Really, there’s nothing I personally like about clubs.  I love going to bars.  There’s one of the beach that I love called Mulligan’s because it’s small and everyone is really nice.  My bar here is a bar/restaurant but mostly a bar.  It’s called Longshots and it’s full of pool tables, sports on the TVs, and a bar the length of the place basically (And, yes, it is in West Virginia).  These are places that rednecks like.  Not only can we all talk and hang out but we can listen to some good country and classic rock and every now and then, see a good cover band.  Plus, there’s that whole hating heels thing.  I like to live by the motto if I can’t wear my boots, I ain’t going (Heels are only good in the office).

Well, that’s it.  I’m done my rant.  I don’t know if I’m going to continue watching Buckwild and I know quite a few West by God Virginians who were upset and let down by this show because it’s so not true to the state and the people.  The only thing they did last night that I could see us doing was filling the dump truck to make a pool (That seemed like a good idea).  If MTV wants a true redneck show, they can come to Dargan and see how the poor rednecks really live (Of course, we’d be exactly like Duck Dynasty if we had money).

P.S.  Did anyone else notice how Valley Girl those girls talked?  Here’s what kept going through my head every time one of them opened their mouths:


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