Now, technically, I am not a belle. I have never been introduced into society because that just ain’t the way we do things around here. Nevertheless, I am a belle in every other way. Trust me when I say that no one has read The Southern Belle Primer (or Why Paris Hilton Could Never Be A Kappa Kappa Gamma) more than me. So, I’ve been in a serious shopping mood lately and pinning like crazy, so here’s the list of things that a modern day belle just needs to have.
1. Your Pearls!
There is nothing I love more than a good pearl, and there’s no denying true belle status when you have pearls that date back through generations of your family. That’s not to say all mine are real. You see, my great grandma liked her expensive stuff, but she liked her costume jewelry, too. I’ve got real ones, but it’s the ones that belonged to her–whether they are real or not–that mean the most. We love tradition and things passed through the generations in the South. I wear her ring every day and use her rolling pin when we make pot pie. Heck, our pot pie recipe is now on it’s fifth generation of cooks. Anyway, there is no such thing as too many pearls. They are classic and beautiful just like the belle wearing them. It can be a necklace, earrings, a bracelet, a pin, whatever, so long as it has the wonderful stone. Plus, it is my birthstone after all. It has to be the best.
2. What rhymes with Your Pearls? Your Girls!
Yes, there’s lots of girls a girl needs–your mama, your sisters (both real and sorority), you best friends, your grandma–but the ones I’m talking about are Lilly Pulitzer and Vera Bradley. Sure, there’s Vineyard Vines and Southern Marsh and all those, but I’m a little partial to these two wonderful ladies. I love the colors and the florals and just everything about the designers. I probably own more Vera than anyone I know. You can’t stop me once I get into the store. (Lucky for me, I also have a boyfriend who can pick out a good Vera print when it comes to presents.) My shopping obsession has been on Etsy lately where I order a super cute navy blue pocket t-shirt with…wait for it…a Lilly Pulitzer monogram. I don’t think your t-shirt can be more Southern than that. Now, if it would just come in….
3. Your Monogram.
If it doesn’t move, monogram it. My favorite belle might be Scarlett, but Reese Witherspoon is pretty high up on that list, too, and she’s the one who created that rule. I’ll live by it. I’ve ordered about five different monogrammed things in the past week and am currently deciding if I should break up with Michael so I can find a boy whose name doesn’t make me change my monogram. Just kidding. Though it would make things very easy, but a different last initial means an excuse for all new monogrammed things, right? Right. Way to enable my shopaholism.
4. Your Sass.
There are two things a belle always needs to be: classy and sassy. I sometimes have a hard time with the first one–that’s the Scarlett in me–but I’ve always got a little extra sass stored up. I’ve got the boots, class, and sass tank and the kiss my Southern sass one. It’s always more fun to be feisty than to follow the rules anyway. I mean Scarlett always had more fun than Miss Melly didn’t she? No matter how much I do love Melly.
5. Your Gun.
The only time a Southern girl is helpless is when her nails or wet, or so the ecard says. I say that even then she’s not defenseless. She’s got her daddy, who can shoot, or if she really needs to, she can still pull the trigger. I’m not saying you have to hunt because some people just can’t handle killing an animal, but at the very least, you need to shoot targets. It’s preferable that you aren’t a bad shot either. Not to brag, but I happen to be a pretty good shot myself.
6. Your Manners.
Now, I recently learned that my sweet Southern charm does not work on all men as I thought it did. Apparently, computer science majors are impervious to a smile, a twang, and some sweet talk. However, that does not mean that we can disregard all those manners that our mamas and daddys taught us. Please and thank you are the magic words after all. And they go a lot farther when they are accompanied by a twang and a honey. Just is doesn’t seem to work with these super nerdy boys. They prefer to want to seem so much better than you because they think they are so darn smart. Well, fiddle dee dee.
7. Your Koozie.
Belles don’t drink….they sip. It’s a rule in the Southern Belle Primer if y’all didn’t know. Well, either that or the GRITs Guide to Life. I can’t remember. There is nothing better than a super cute koozie keeping your drink cold, whether that drink is a can of pepsi, a can of beer, or a bottle of my beloved Twisted Tea. I like to get one at every concert we go to. That’s why Luke Bryan or The Pistol Annies is usually wrapped around my drink, and Justin Moore will be after this summer, but we’ve got all kinds at my house. There’s OBX, Janette’s Pier, Steelers, Orioles, and I’ve got a Southernly Stated one on the way. You’ve got to have options.
Well, there’s a thing or two else that a belle could always use, but seven happens to be my favorite number so I’ll stop there. It’s time for me to watch Scarlett and do a little bit more shopping. Wonder what I can monogram next?