That was as nice as we were going to get today because the challenges are kind of heavy today: what I think of my body (trust me, that’s not good) and 3 confessions of my choice.
Well, I’m not exactly a fan of my body, but who is? However, I’ve been in a pretty decent state of mind about accepting it anyway. I think my stomach is too fat. No matter what I do it always sticks out some, but I’m ok with that little curve now that I’ve been going to the gym more and feel healthier. I guess that might change in a few weeks when I’m no longer at our school gym and I’m working. Another part I’ve never liked but kind of accept now is my legs. I have softball legs. They are kind of fat and muscular and don’t like to fit in pants that fit my waist. My shoulders have always bee broad (my daddy’s fault), but now that I’m lifting weights, my arms don’t look like twigs next to them.
I think I have my two B’s are cute though. I’ve got a small chest, which is perfect because if I had a big one, I’d probably tip over, and my butt is cute and round albeit a little full for my size. I actually love being short. I can always wear heels, and it just kind of fits my personality because I’m little with a whole lot of punch. This is going to lead me into confession number one, where I’ll finish my body discussion
I had an eating disorder a few years ago. I don’t want to say I’m over it because there’s still things that do have a lot of control over me and I don’t think it’s something you get over–you could relapse–but with that said, I am a lot more comfortable with my body now. I’ll never be happy with it because I don’t think anyone is really happy with their body. There’s always something they’d change, but I’m content…with my body…not the number on the scale.
I am very, very scared of the future. You name any upcoming life event and I am terrified of it. Real job, new cars, getting a house, marriage, kids, friends’ marriages and kids: I just want to cry. I would much rather prefer staying at home with my mommy and daddy, continue school, chill, and do what we do instead of doing all this. I’m not sure if I’m really weird or this is completely normal, but I’m not ready to grow up.
I wish I would have chosen a better second major than sociology. Yeah, I love the field, but I wish I would have done teaching or library stuff or psychology or social work instead. I feel like there would have been better jobs for me out there, and while I’m cool with what I got, there may have been something closer to home. I felt really limited with my options when I started applying because really only communication arts is an applicable degree to the real world. I would have enjoyed being a teacher or a librarian or a psychologist or a social worker. I’d be helping the world more since I’m not exactly fulfilling my journalistic dreams at this point. Darn Internet killing my newspapers and magazines.
I swear I have a really good picture for today’s challenge–something blue–but I just got home, forgot about this, and turned my phone off. It’s of Michael and I having blue tongues from Popsicles. You’ll see it tomorrow. I promise.