Bring on the Tears

Published May 27, 2013 by jrm17

Saturday, we had a very interesting ghost tour.  We had a medium come.  Now, I was skeptic; I wasn’t sure how much our guide had told her before the tour started, but she started to say things that started to convince me.  That’s not really where the interesting part came.

If you’ve read my prior posts, then you might have read the story about Nathan, our little friend who speaks to us on the voice recorder in one of the cemeteries.  We don’t really know anything about him except for his name being Nathan and that he has a little friend, who is very shy.  I’ve searched up and down the area where we usually get his voice but have yet to find a grave with his name on it.  Our medium told us that’s because he’s lost.  He doesn’t know that he’s dead and can’t really figure things out.

I’m not so sure I would have believed this if she hadn’t picked up on something that she couldn’t have been told before she talked about being lost.  She said that Nathan showed her a yellow ball and that he wanted to play.  Last fall, we went to visit him, and I left him a yellow ball.  I always assumed that the wind was why I couldn’t find it when we returned, but it makes me really happy to think that he has it.

I was a little upset to find out he’s lost, but in a way, that wasn’t really surprising.  Daddy and I walked down the road where we find him, and I started talking.  Because he’s lost, I’m really starting to wonder if he thinks of me as his mom.  I’m fairly certain he is looking for him mom though.  On a few occasions, we’ve heard him say “mama.”  I asked him some questions while we walked.

We stopped at a certain point because it got really cold–like cold chills and abnormally cold compared to the temperature.  I kept asking Nathan if he was there or close to me.  Here’s where things get interesting, and for me, really moving.

I’ve never done this before, but I trust Nathan.  I held out my hand and asked him to grab it if he was close to me.  While my daddy stayed freezing and the rest of my body did, my hand got really warm as if someone was holding it.  I had a tingly sensation like it was asleep.  I asked him if it was him and to walk with me to the next tree.  When I started to move, he let go.

This was one of the most moving experiences I’ve ever had.  Knowing this little boy is lost but trusts me that much broke my heart.  It made me think of the little ones in our family, and I started to cry as I walked away.  I want to help him so badly, and to think I can’t or might not be able to, breaks my heart even more.

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